Have you ever had a period where you were alone for a long period of time without socializing with many people? How did you feel? During the pandemic, I resigned from my job to complete my dissertation and then suddenly I was alone during most days for many months.
At first having more freedom to do what I thought I wanted to do felt great, but as months passed by, I had changed. My views became more negative, gratitude decreased, and my flexibility to try new things decreased.
Having friends, communicating, and just other people listening and valuing your ideas is important. Without much social interaction, we can become lost without understanding. I was lost. I had changed slowly and gradually during the last few years without noticing how I had changed.
Little things would bother me and I did not know why. I declined opportunities to interact with other people when social interaction was needed. I thought I had created wholesome routines and that I could be strong without needing other people.
I swept our apartment almost everyone morning. I walked 3.7 kilometers to a gym. I often exercised for 3 hours. I walked another 3.7 kilometers to our apartment. I barely spoke to my partner as she was often sitting behind a computer screen. I read. I walked outside. I meditated. I watched television alone. I often read more. I often slept alone.
I was unhappy. I was very unhappy, but did not understand why. I felt numb to the world around me. I had forgotten to try more for my partner I had forgotten to value her more. After we moved to Montreal, my habits did not change much.
I continued to pass work and socializing opportunities. I said things that I did not really mean or want. I felt unloved and I should have communicated more with my partner and other people. I should have relaxed more, accepted new kinds of work, and just been grateful.
I left Montreal in January, 2024. I had been sad and depressed for a very long time without revealing my feelings. I continued to be depressed, but I began to reveal my feelings by speaking with other people. Slowly, I stopped pushing myself so hard. I stopped trying to do what I thought was wholesome.
I realised that doing nothing is okay. I realised that speaking with other people is not a waste of time even if someone else was being negative or if I felt that not much was learned. I learned to be grateful. I travelled to Sri Lanka, the United Arab Emirates, Turkey, Hungary, Italy, and Greece.
I was alone, but grateful to reflect, to try new things, to speak with new people, and to learn. I completed online certifications, worked with marketing staff, and interviewed teachers for an international school.
I communicated more when I felt speaking to someone was needed. I learned to be grateful that someone was listening. I learned new perspectives and my mental health improved. Little things did not bother me and I learned to smile more with difficult moments.
Relationships are very important. The last 12 months was a very difficult period of my life. Through interactions with different people, I learned. I reflected. I apologized to different people. I grew. I am not perfect. As a coach, I am grateful to listen, to explore ideas, and help any individual who needs help. We are all human beings. Sometimes we need help. We need someone to listen to our ideas and someone who can guide us with questions to learn new perspectives, to enhance our understandings, and to facilitate greater gratitude.